I'm feeling the exam sickness! I don't wanna take my exams, i don't wanna go school, i just want my holidays! And everyone knows how "LONG" i have been taking my course! Mel came back with freaking GOOD (NOT) RESULTS! Out of 8 subjects, he pass 2, - English and History, the rest were all UNGRADED! Too much of playing, too much of dating and TOO MUCH OF INDEPENDENCY! Since he step into Secondary school, no one has been monitoring him. His always on is own, and i guess everyone gives him too much of his space already that he forgets his status as a student. And with such a BIMBOTIC AND BITCHY girlfriend, how do you expect to live life normally.

Good thing is that dad didn't scream his head off me. Usually, i'm to blame for everything that happens in this house. Everything is my responsibilities. From the day i was born, responsibilities of Becoming a successor for dad was called, when dad and mum spilt, the duties of a sister/motherly/wife was passed on to me. And if anyone thinks its perfectly normal - WELL, YOU OBVIOUSLY DON'T KNOW THE FUCKING LIFE OF MINE TO JUDGE!

From office matters to family, everything is my RESPONSIBILITIES! And i still have to find time to GROW UP! If i did anything right, it was my job and when i did anything wrong, or perhaps things that i can't control, then it's all my fault! I think i really did grow up VERY FAST! And when i see Mel or Kath taking their time to grow up with no Responsibilities, i tend to lose it! I get angry and frustrated. Like as if i live for them, for this family, for the office, for everything but myself!

And what makes it worst is when others ENVY the life i live. When people says things like - You so lucky, everything is plan so well for you! OR LIKE, you don't have to worry about your future, you have your dad, OR, you live a very good life - you have such a good lifestyle, have everything you want, snap your fingers and your dad will give you.
ALL I GOTTA SAY IS - FUCK YOU!

Yesh, i live a very good life, whatever i want i get. As long dad is around, money would be around, life would be around and i would live well! But it all comes with a price, I MAY HAVE A VERY GOOD FINANCIAL LIFE, BUT I DON'T HAVE A VERY HEALTHY LIFESTYLE. MY PARENTS ARE DIVORCE, I'M FORCE TO GROW UP QUICKLY, I HAVE TONS OF RESPONSIBILITIES AND PEOPLE LIKE DAD ARE JUST EAGERLY WAITING FOR ME TO HIT 21. IF I DIDN'T HAVE GAN MA AND GAN DIE, OR IF I DIDNT HAVE GOOD FRIENDS AROUND ME, I SERIOUSLY DON'T KNOW WHAT LIFE WOULD BE FOR ME!

I'm not trying to complaint anything. I'm happy with my current life, I have good friends that i can count on for support, i have a wonderful caring god-parents who love me unconditionally and who have change my life COMPLETELY! Not forgetting my god-grandparents and family there. I have a WONDERFUL DAD, although he can be demanding and expect loads from me, but i know he just wants everything to go well in life for us. And besides me, who else can he pass on the company to. I know he knows deep inside that i like to go out and start my own, but he doesn't have the strength to see the company go into others hands. Although i have a very selfish yet independent mum, i still have to thank her for the birth of myself and lastly my annoying yet terrible siblings who never fail to keep me entertain! From their love life, to school life.. Though i would still say they really grow up with no responsibilities and burden, i don't think deep inside i would want them to have that like me! I know how it feels to be pressured to grow up!


Seriously, i don't know why i'm RANDOMLY blogging about this. It just came into my mind and i just had the typing going! And i realize that ever since this blog was created, i have been blogging here instead of the other blog! But i know myself, it's just the start that i get enthu and then i'll just let the blog die slowly!